Would I know what to say to you?

I spend so much of my time thinking of you. I daydream of sitting in a cafe and talking to you for hours, letting you teach me everything there is to know about you. Walking the trails together, unabashedly hand-in-hand.

But… What would we talk about? As much as I think of you, in truth I know next to nothing about you. There's only so much time we can fill talking about Doctor Who, which is really the only thing I know for certain that we both like.

But then, that's the whole point, isn't it? I want to know more… I need to know more. I'm fascinated by your kindness and beauty and want to get closer and closer to you until I finally get to that core and see who you are beyond just the little glimmer I've so far been allowed.

But, would I know what to say to you? Or would I bore you to tears, flailing around trying to find a new common point and missing, missing missing… The thought of that scares me to death, not because I'm afraid the “there” isn't “there,” but because I know I'm just not good at that stuff. The targets could be huge - massive parts of ourselves that would bond instantly if they connected - but I'd still miss.

You… You're good at that stuff. We've had precious few conversations, but you have always found something, and fast, that we connect on. But would it tire you to always be the one to do that? Or could you look past my clumsiness, my social awkwardness, for long enough for me to find those targets?

And does it even matter? Will I ever even have the chance? I hope… I hope…

Yours,
♒️